When WAS the beginning and what IS on my mind? The beginning for me was 7 years ago with a cancer diagnosis at 33 years old. The past few years have been a constant go round of more diagnoses, cancer treatment, on-going care and me picking myself up off the floor and trying to get on with my life again.
So hard to gather the multitude of thoughts that have appeared in my brain since I was first diagnosed with the lurgy that is cancer.
The road hasn’t always been easy and now it isn’t necessarily harder – just different. Different from what it was, different to what I had planned it to be. I thought that with time I would find it easier to adjust, that I would move on eventually to living with all the different things in my life instead I find it hard some days to let go of what I had and to accept what is here now.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m incredibly grateful to be here, to not have been one of the ones to slowly leave this earth. Very grateful indeed, it’s all just a little bit muddier than what I had planned. The strongest goal, the ONLY goal for the longest time, was to survive, now that I’m at that survivor place I don’t know what the next goal is, and I don’t know many in the same boat. It sure would be nice to not be so alone in the boat!
And that, is why I’m here. To talk it out and try to find some answers. If you have something to contribute – please do – I welcome your advice and opinions as I wander through the darklands of surviving cancer.